Driscoll on Pastors’ Wives

The Acts 29 Network posted an excellent audio clip of Mark Driscoll speaking on the role of a Pastor’s Wife. My favorite parts included:

I need [my wife] to hold me.

Anyone else can play piano or answer the phone, but nobody else can be my wife. I can delegate a lot of things but as soon as you delegate “wife” you have real trouble.

Sarah and I listened to it together and at one point an “Amen” even slipped out of her at the truth of Driscoll’s words.

If you are in ministry and married, you need to listen to this with your spouse.

What’s your advice for success as a pastor’s wife?

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5 Responses to “Driscoll on Pastors’ Wives”


  1. 1 A Place for Ministry Wives August 27, 2007 at 1:50 am

    I somehow stumbled across your blog. Feel free to send your wife to visit mine. I just started it and the Lord has “revealed Himself” in newfound community among ministry wives.

  2. 2 Julianne August 27, 2007 at 2:41 am

    Thank you for sharing this. I agree with the comment in this teaching about asking your husband what he needs. I read every Christian marriage book I could get my hands on and while there were good ideas, nothing was “getting it.” When I finally emailed my hubby a list of questions about his needs from me, what respect and love look like to him when he thinks about what he wants from me…the LIGHT came on. I also asked him what things seemed disrespectful to him and they were things I could have never guessed in a lifetime without his input. I now have tools to become the wife he needs. Some people might think I lost myself in that process. However, pleasing God and my hubby has made me a happy wife who now feels very loved and cherished. God is good!

  3. 3 Sarah Chia August 27, 2007 at 8:26 am

    While I liked much of what Driscoll had to say, it wouldn’t be complete unless I also added that the terms he used were not my favorite. I didn’t like that he called the wife a husband’s “pastor.” I think the heart of what he was saying is that the wife ministers to the husband in the home, but the idea of pastor brings along with it the connotation of teacher, equipper, and leader.

    Yes, I can teach you some things. I can make sure your needs are taken care of at home, which will give you the emotional strength to do your ministry, but I can’t (and shouldn’t) lead you.

    So, in that, I don’t like the word choice that Driscoll used. My main “amen” was that he stressed how important a woman’s role in the home is. The pastor’s wife is important in her obligation to her family, and she doesn’t cease to be important if she doesn’t take on a large role in the church.

    On the contrary, when she takes on a large role at the church (especially in order to fill the expectations of church-goers), she ceases to be effective in her obligation to her family.

    End of rant.

    I love you.

  4. 4 Billy Chia August 27, 2007 at 8:49 am

    Good stuff:

    “the idea of pastor brings along with it the connotation of teacher, equipper, and leader.”

    “I can’t (and shouldn’t) lead you.”

    “she doesn’t cease to be important if she doesn’t take on a large role in the church.”

    Thank you Beautiful, I love you.

    (Sarah and I were having this discussion in “real life” and I asked her to post her thoughts here so all of you could enjoy.)

  5. 5 tam August 28, 2007 at 12:38 pm

    right on Sarah! I agree totally… They say behind every good Pastor is a great wife…or something to that effect. I believe that. We knew a couple who were in the ministry. He was a pastor of a thriving church but his wife seemed to never really get on board. He is no longer in the ministry while seemingly losing his passion for it, maybe due to lack of support and excitement and encouragement from his “help-mate”.

    We have an extremely important role as a Pastors Wife. One not to take lightly!


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